


The Other Half?

by hedasgirl



Category: The Half of It, The Half of It (2020)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedasgirl/pseuds/hedasgirl
Summary: Aster Flores was troubled more than she should be, something was changing and she was not sure if she was ready to find out. She's falling, falling for the words of a boy she never even talked to before her friendly date.But something was very weird about it when she met him and she couldn't say what.
Relationships: Aster Flores & Paul Munsky, Aster Flores/Paul Munsky, Ellie Chu & Aster Flores, Ellie Chu/Aster Flores
Comments: 9
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

Aster was wide awake, lying in her bed, her eyes staring at the roof over her head. Though the room was poorly lit she noticed a tiny crack just left to the side where her fan was, wondering how she missed the tiny detail on her own roof or how it occurred since she always stared at the roof every night before retreating back to sleep. 

She felt disappointed of sorts after discovering the information and though she knew why she was unable to take notice of it. Maybe it was recently formed, she tried to convince herself but couldn't tell for sure. It felt like she was losing her mind for real now. 

She never tried this hard to not think before, earlier it used to be her thoughts pouring in like raindrops from the sky and she welcomed them with open arms because they were the only ones which she could embrace without being judged for and they brought her comfort, but tonight was difficult and different she wanted to sleep and to avoid thinking at all costs.

She wasn't trying to think, she wanted to stop thinking.  
She was unable to sleep the whole night. The recent events that unfolded in front of her still felt like a dream. 

She was unsure if she had been hallucinating or if it was all true. She wanted it to be true but was dreadful of it being true and exposed for that matter. She wasn't ready for that.

Because she always felt lost. Always. Ever since she stopped being herself but something was changing. She wanted to be her own self, her own person now again after so many years or whatever that may even mean. It was an odd yet soothing feeling to develop a will of your own and not mindlessly following the flock like a sheep but it was a dangerous one. The wolves always get the one which runs away from the flock. But she was getting weary of following others, her parents, her boyfriend and her sorry excuse for friends.

With her thoughts jumbled it was getting hotter than usual in her room. Aster switched her position in her bed now lying on her left side curled up into a ball, hands clenched together tucked between her torso and legs. She was breathing heavy as if there was some weight on her chest waiting to lift. But it was way too heavy to be moved by on her own so quickly. She had to be patient and careful, afraid to hurt herself by letting it fall on her and suffocating her much further.

She wanted to stop thinking but her mind kept racing like an untamed horse. There was usually nothing very exciting going on in their backwater town of Squamish but Aster felt like her surroundings were on fire. Like the whole place was full of energy showing her some sign to provide her the courage to act on what she believes now.  
She was asking God for a sign and God has shown it. And she was not ready, at all.

She sighed at nothing in particular but at the fact that she was getting goosebumps even just thinking about it, defying her old self or the one she pretends to be the; one which was loved across the town for someone she was afraid to be. 

Her racing thoughts were interrupted by her alarm going off in her phone. It was 6 am, time for school and the place for sheeps. Time for pretending and time to see him again, across the hallways and not being able to do anything about it. She got up from her bed shaking off her misery to face the day.

*Ellie's POV*

I was going to be late for school, again and I wanted to facepalm myself but I didn't have time for that either.  
After doing the chores I grabbed my bike to start the day in the school but I was nervous.

What if she has decided to not respond to me at all?  
I mean Paul… or pseudo Paul.  
I knew the date went bust… Paul totally blew it up with Aster, he should've listened to me now I've lost any chance to be close to her again. 

As I was riding my bike away cloudy in my thoughts I heard someone familiar yell from behind.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" It was Paul of course.

I slowed down and let him catch up with me.

"So I still can't believe I went on a date with Aster Flores!" He started.

"Please don't bring it up…" I tried to stop him before I say something I didn't mean.

"It wasn't so bad.."

"What about that date wasn't bad? You have nothing in common."

"Not yet but-"

"Game over."

"I can't give up!" Paul said while panting heavily.

I was kind of starting to feel bad for him but I said it anyway.

"Look, you and Aster Flores, not gonna happen."

I heard a vehicle approaching us and realized it was the same dumb guys who always threw insults at me for absolutely nothing.

And they did the same today…  
I shook my head at their immaturity almost forgetting that Paul was right behind me.

"Hey!" Paul yelled and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Who are you calling that huh?" I looked at him in disbelief. I never stood up for myself in front of these goons but he did.

We didn't even know each other that well my heart warmed up a bit at his sweet gesture so I decided to hangout with him after school.

I wanted to let him down slowly, he deserved atleast that for his efforts.


	2. That was weird?

*Aster's POV*

"That was… weird."

That's what I wrote.

At least that's what I felt.

Of course it was weird! 

Or maybe I was overreacting.

I was more than troubled and confused by the way Paul acted that night at the date. It wasn't anything bad of sorts; he's a very sweet guy but something was off I could feel. I've been up thinking about it the whole night trying to make sense of things.

Maybe it was because he was nervous? I tried to reason with myself, I couldn't help but take notice about how different his demeanor was from the way he types his texts.  
He was a bit… different not in a bad way but definitely different than I had imagined him to be. He was sweet, respectful and shy but in his texts he seems complex, daring and intriguing.

I'm not saying I didn't like the date I did actually.  
It was better than most I've been on before. Maybe it was the fact that I kept talking about books on and on but he didn't interrupt me once and that softened my heart even more. But that's what we talked about. That's what I talked about.

Crap! I didn't even talk about myself. I was busy discussing things that we talked about in the letters. I should have been more… fun? Is that what you should call it? I did invite him to an old cafe. I couldn't risk being the topic of discussion on everyone's Instagram stories the next day. That's why I called him there. But what could've been more fun than talking about what we shared in common?

But he didn't talk much himself… what if now he thought to himself and decided that I didn't act right Perhaps, because he was regretting it? What if he was actually regretting it? Is that the reason he hasn't texted me back yet? Because he didn't like the live version of me? He seemed way more comfortable talking in texts than he that day, he was different than his words.

Maybe that's why people act so bold behind screens they don't have to share an eye to eye contact with the people they are talking to. It takes more courage. I was nervous myself but he seemed more, I must say he is actually very cute though.

Spending time with him was nice. I really wanted to do it again but there was something missing and I couldn't pinpoint what.

Throughout the date he quietly kept stealing glances at me thinking I wasn't looking but I was. And I found it extremely adorable.

Wait Aster! You have a boyfriend! I scolded myself. It was a friendly date, nothing more.

Something is not right with me.

"Ugrrrgh!" I threw my face into the pillow and screamed.

What was happening! I asked myself.

I was lost in the spiral of my tangled thoughts once again.

Paul was extremely shy. That's what I settled on for the sake of my sanity. 

But he talks with such boldness in his texts…  
This question kept popping in my head again and again and again like a broken record.

I shouldn't have agreed for the date.

It was much better when I had this version of him in my head.

But first let's scratch that, I shouldn't have agreed for the friendly date.

Yup, that's definitely better.

What if he wanted to speak and I didn't give him a chance to? I really was talking about the books.

What if he thinks I'm a creep?  
I did agree to go out with a guy while having a boyfriend already, what must he think of me!

I got up from my bed in a sitting position and grabbed a handful of my hair trying to make sense of it all, every single thing from the day he dropped his letter into my locker till this day.

*Ting*

My phone vibrated somewhere on my bed. My hand absentmindedly went to reach for it. That's when I noticed the notification.

It was a ghost message from Paul.

Holy crap!

I panicked a little.

I jumped off my bed and started pacing around the room not having the guts to open the text.

What if he breaks up with me?

Aster what nonsense? You aren't even dating him!

It was a friendly date for the last time!

I was getting paranoid for real and I wasn't liking it.

I grabbed my phone and read the app and read.

I don't talk much  
sorry u felt weird.

I couldn't help but smile at his response. Relief washed over me.

So he didn't think I was a creep. That's a good start but I couldn't help but wonder that he still hasn't used a single emoji? Since I've been talking to him he never once used a single emoji. He totally strikes me as the type of guy who would use the alien emoji but I guess people really are very different from what they seem in real life. But I wasn't complaining at all. He gets me, the real me and that was enough for me.

If truth be told I really liked Paul who wrote me letters. It was just like the old movies… the suspense, the anticipation it was all worth the wait for whatever he wrote me. 

It used to be my highlight of the day.  
But his texts are better because you can always reach him whenever you want and wherever you want without being at the risk of being exposed.

The thought that worried me the most was my parents finding out about me talking to another guy..

Or worse… Trig finding out, I wonder what he's going to do if he ever does.

But it's not like I'm cheating on him, Paul and I are just friends!

Aren't we? Friends?  
The question was heavy and tough.

Heavier than the sound of silence in my room.

The chaotic thoughts were fabricating scenarios in my head which were driving me nuts.

But I couldn't care less at that moment and replied back.

It's alright  
I think you did well.


	3. Chapter 3

*Ellie’s POV*

It's alright  
I think you did well.

I was in my bed reading the text and thinking about what I did. This was ridiculous. What was I even thinking?  
What the hell Ellie?  
I mean who writes that?

"I think you did well?" Jackass.

How dumb can you be to write that? I facepalmed myself. Thoughts going around a million miles per hour in my head. What must she be thinking of me right now? 

Ellie who are you even kidding?  
What she must be thinking of Paul right now.  
Not you.

"Oh damn it Paul. Why would you have to have to make everything so hard?!" I yelled.

"Is everything ok?" Ba yelled from his room.

I facepalmed myself yet another time.  
"Yeah, yeah just explaining Paul a maths problem."

Ugh! My frustration level was going up but I had to keep it all in.  
Everything.

Back to Aster, I wonder what's going through her head right now.

Especially after a date that went bust and a reply like that.

I was feeling mortified and dumb mostly looking at my screen waiting for her reply to my ridiculous statement but thinking of Paul gave me a bit confidence, she will reply soon.  
Hopefully.

Paul…. He is a sweetheart always full of hope and always so optimistic. I sometimes envy him and I don't mean it in a bad way.  
I just wanted to be as optimistic and free as him.  
But who knew if he was free at all?  
People might think I am free, they have no idea how chained I am. 

But Paul, he has a light in him and I wish someone, someday would see it and keep him happy even if it's Aster.  
I like how he sees the world. He's a guy you'll always want to be around to feel easy, playful and warm.  
He deserves the best but I have doubts if Aster really is the best for him.

I don't want to do this…. to him or to Aster any further.  
They don't belong together, as far as I can see it.

But who am I to judge that really?

I am no saint myself but even I know this will not go anywhere.

And Trig? What happens when he finds out?  
Or her parents?  
This is too much to ask for even for the double amount of money.

But I was getting paid double so there’s no harm in going any further, we came this far right?

No more writing shitty assignments.  
This was better, way better.  
A part of me wants to stop but I don't want to walk away from Aster so soon, just yet, I wanted to hold onto her as much as I could for as long as I could, I know this will not last for much time but I am ready to try.  
No harm in trying right?  
To want to put it out there in the universe.

The thoughts kept me awake most of the night and I had not realized when my consciousness was caught in the delicate fingers of sleep.

*Morning* 

I woke up from my sleep, yet again an alarm going crazy in the background. I did my morning routine, chores and kissed my dad on his forehead.

Grabbed my bicycle and inhaled.  
The crisp 7 am breeze filling my nostrils going all the way to my lungs leaving a relaxing effect on my body while exiting my body calming my nerves.

I inhaled the biggest breath I could. I needed to relax.  
I have to do this.

Okay.

I can do this.

I tried to convince myself despite my inner self screaming at me to not do this. I was having second doubts but Paul’s enthusiasm was keeping me alive and going.

I hope we can pull this off, by we I mean mainly Paul.

But first things first. School.  
And observing Aster Flores from afar.

_____________________________________________

Deep versus broad based learning.

That’s what I tried to explain to him for the whole 2 hours. We had three weeks to make it right this time, enough time to achieve this one simple task. Three weeks, twenty one days. More than enough but it was Aster.. she wasn't just any assignment. She was a living breathing soul.

But it should be easy right? Since we, no he already taken her on a date?

It's easy to take Aster Flores on another date right?  
Wrong! 

We need to prepare for that!  
And we weren't prepared.  
We were way behind our schedule, in our attempts to keep it lowkey we were losing time.  
We watched the same movie Aster was watching. I really must say she has a way about her, about everything that she does.  
She was laughing, watching all the gruesome scenes and still laughing throughout the movie.  
She was even laughing in the scenes which were making me cringe from time to time.

What is it about this girl?

What is it about this girl that everyone wants her?

Her looks? 

Her mystique? 

I think I already know.

It was her, all of her.

People think that she is an open book to everyone, everyone knows her family, her boyfriend and the boyfriend's family, they literally own half the town. 

But she wasn’t just any girl. She wasn’t any book of literature anyone could understand; she was a beautiful and complex poetry and I intended to decipher every word of.

They don’t know you Aster Flores, they don’t know you like I do, at least as I'm starting to discover you more by day and every night.

And now that we are finding out about all the things that even I don’t know yet, nobody ever will, except me.

My heart was beating so fast I hadn't realized I tried to breathe slowly and steadily, I closed my eyes trying to calm my nerves but I was failing at it.  
Just like I was failing at getting her out of my head.

I didn't realize the movie was over. Everyone started to get off their seats. My eyes were searching for her and obviously for Paul. But her mostly but I could find no sign of her instead I found some dumb teenagers making out in the doorway and I gagged.

"Hey!"  
"Hey!"

I heard a someone very familiar yell from the right side to where I was standing waving like crazy to grab my attention and there he was smiling like a goof waiting for me.

Waiting to discuss the small piece of information we had just discovered.

Oh Paul you really fell for Aster didn't you?

_____________________________________________

We were in the bus combining our collective information about her. But mind seems to have its own brain and I mean that unironically. It was getting very inconvenient for me now.

Damn I gotta stop thinking about her that way, Paul loves her!  
But wasn’t I allowed to like her?

No no no! I am not having this conversation with myself at this time to the day I have so much stuff to do!

We followed her in drugstore we now even knew what brand of tampon she uses!

I was a bit uneasy to follow her like that; it felt wrong but exciting on its own. I just wanted to help Paul to get over it I was getting paid for the job or maybe I just wanted be close to her I couldn't decide.

Ellie just snap out of it already! I scolded myself mentally.

“Head in the game wild child, head in the game.” I repeated to myself.

“Who are you talking to?” Paul asked, confused.

Ummm… shit I almost forgot her was there.

“No one.” I replied after a second.

“Okay..” and he went back to his own work, scribbling excitedly with full concentration.

I looked over to what he was writing.

Eat all meats and hates raisins.

Oh Paul…  
He is going to get his heartbroken and I think he's going to take it very badly. But i will not ruin his dream I have started to like him as a friend.  
A friend?  
A friend that I never had.  
But now I do.

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders while going back to making my notes about her.  
Aster.

Maybe friendships are really worth the heartbreaks.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take at what goes inside the mind of the main characters during the movie.
> 
> Hope you like it, I intend to write more.


End file.
